ive felt so depressed lately. i dont know why. maybe because im starting to question my future. life just goes by so fast. growing up is seriously the worst thing that has happened. everything is so hard. people are so cruel and heartless. following my dreams isn’t as easy as everyone says. making my parents proud is so hard when they dont even support what i love and what I’m passionate for. trying to find love is impossible when i cant even love myself. people assume I’m happy just because i have a smile on my face when actually all i want to do i break down and cry. so many people around me all the time but yet i feel so lonely, so empty, so cold. sometimes i feel like theres no point of trying, i just want to give up. i just want someone to tell me everything is going to be okay, that this is just another one of those depressed nights, tell me that i will be someone in life, tell me to follow MY dreams, tell me not to give up, tell me i can do it. tell me i matter…..

so many emotions going through my head right now. i cant believe my dance show is on friday… i kinda dont want it to end. then i have sooo much fucking homework to catch up on and it makes me so frustrated cus my schoolwork was always my first priority and now its like completely different. then theres this kid that i just cant stop thinking about which is a huge distraction… (a good one though) and its like i just want to be with him all day… idk i guess im just thinking about everything to much…